16th Random Thing while Passive-Aggressive blogging

Passive-Aggressive behavior is something I’d like to rid myself of with as much seriousness as I tackle passive verbs.

My behavior is still sucking.

This would be my 16th Random Thing, this passive-aggressive crap that mainly gets directed at my soon-to-be ex-wife when I can’t get her attention.

Speaking of my wife and eHarmony (we took it posing as singles once and looked horribly incompatible), I’ll toss in the 17th thing about me using their discriminatory system (don’t all systems discriminate in some manner?) that keeps evil, not-yet-divorced undesirables like me from matching with someone truly compatible.

 

Third from the Five-Part Personality Assessment at eHarmony:

3:  Introduction to Emotional Stability

We’re born with the capacity to feel deeply, so it’s as natural as breathing to experience a range of emotions. Fear and joy and sadness, anger and shame and disgust lie somewhere within each of us. Ah, but to what extent do we control these emotions, and to what extent do they control us? How you answer this question of how your emotions play out in your life has a great deal to do with your levels of personal satisfaction and with the character of your relationships with others. Do you manage your emotions well, keeping them in check with your thinking and your willpower, or are you someone who lets emotions have their way, giving in to the wild dance of feelings? The following paragraphs describe your emotional range in terms of being a person who is emotionally steady or someone who is responsive to whatever feelings swell up in you.
On Emotional Stability you are:
SOMETIMES STEADY, SOMETIMES RESPONSIVE
Words that describe you:
Adaptable
Engaged
Able to Cope
Passionate
Perceptive
Flexible
Receptive
Aware
Avid 
 
A General Description of Your Reactivity
In some ways, you’ve got the best of emotional worlds. When emotions rise up from inside you or are brought forth from a conversation by a friend, you know how to engage them. You deal with sadness, fear, joy, anger – whatever comes up – in ways that are perceptive and flexible. You can adapt to whatever level of emotion is appropriate to the moment. At other times, you are able to cope with your emotions in a more reserved manner. Because you are aware of what does and does not make emotional sense in a particular situation, you will decide when it is an appropriate time to express your emotions and when it would be best to keep them to yourself.

All of this gives you a rich emotional life. You are free to express your passions about certain subjects with appropriate people. But you are also emotionally adaptable; if the conversation needs to be more cerebral, you’ll keep it “in your head” and talk calmly through whatever issue is on the table. This emotional awareness serves you well. You seldom get in over your head, either by opening up to the wrong person or by triggering in someone else’s emotions they may not be able to deal with.
Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
When it comes to dealing with emotions we all meet some people with whom we don’t match well. You bring a balanced approach to your emotional life. As such, those who are at the extremes are most likely to have a negative reaction to you. Those who live in their emotions may feel you tend to “live in your head” while those who go through life as an emotional rock may feel that you are a bit too “touchy feely” for their approach.

And of course it is always possible that because you do balance your emotional approach to life you may misread others – we all do at times. So there have undoubtedly been those times when you have misread cues and stayed in your head with someone who hoped for a more open emotional approach or you may have opened up emotionally with someone who keeps their emotions bottled up. But these things happen and since you do have a good balance of being in touch with your emotions and not being overly impacted by emotional swings, you undoubtedly are able to adapt.

Another potential problem is that as people get to know you well, they will discover that you have a great balance between emotional expression and emotional control. If they don’t have this balance they may wind up envying you. They can’t express feelings as well as you, or they are too often out of emotional control and resent you for your ability to cope so well with the very emotions that may trip them up.
Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
Many people will be grateful to find a friend like you who can stay in control when emotions verge on chaos, but who can also go into the tangle of emotions when it is safe and appropriate to do so. Because of your ability to engage them at whatever level they are comfortable, to adapt to whatever changes in emotion emerge in the conversation, and to cope so well with all of it – well, they’ll be very glad they found a person like you. You may, in fact, wind up as something of an emotional mentor. Your awareness of the emotional temperature of a situation, your ability to adapt to either heat or cold, and your ability to cope with whatever winds up happening in the conversation could be models for them to follow as they come to terms with their own emotional worlds.

And now a song popular when I was 19 (1980) and my wife was 5:

“Emotional Rescue”

-The Rolling Stones

Is there nothing I can say
Nothing I can do
To change your mind
I’m so in love with you
You’re too deep in
You can’t get out
You’re just a poor girl in a rich man’s house
Yeah, baby, I’m crying over you

Don’t you know promises were never made to keep?
Just like the night, dissolve in sleep
I’ll be your savior, steadfast and true
I’ll come to your emotional rescue
I’ll come to your emotional rescue

Yeah, the other night, crying
Crying baby, yeah I’m crying
Yeah I’m like a child baby
I’m like a child baby
Child yeah, I’m like a child, like a child
Like a child

You think you’re one of a special breed
You think that you’re his pet pekinese
I’ll be your savior, steadfast and true
I’ll come to your emotional rescue
I’ll come to your emotional rescue

I was dreaming last night
Last night I was dreaming
How you’d be mine, but I was crying
Like a child, yeah, I was crying
Crying like a child
You will be mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, all mine
You could be mine, could be mine
Be mine, all mine

I come to you, so silent in the night
So stealthy, so animal quiet
I’ll be your savior, steadfast and true
I’ll come to your emotional rescue
I’ll come to your emotional rescue

Yeah, you should be mine, mine, whew
Yes, you could be mine
Tonight and every night
I will be your knight in shining armour
Coming to your emotional rescue
You will be mine, you will be mine, all mine
You will be mine, you will be mine, all mine
I will be your knight in shining armour
Riding across the desert with a fine arab charger

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2 Responses

  1. I love animals. Great blog and hope to have some time soon to come back and read more!

  2. […] It Might Be Love placed an observative post today on 16th Random Thing while Passive-Aggressive blogginHere’s a quick excerptSpeaking of my wife and eHarmony (we took it posing as Bsingles/B once and looked horribly incompatible), I’ll toss in the 17th thing about me… […]

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