What is driving me to keep putting words together and posting them on this blog?
The desire to see my words on the Internet is starting to drive me nuts and has me heading toward the 365 blog club even though I swore not to join, take days off and just read.
Today, at work in the call center advising employees about their health benefits, it was all I could do to pay attention. I wanted to jump up, run home and write.
More of the blogs I read seem to be more creative, like John Shore’s blog – the subject of my last post along with my wife’s critique of my writing.
Shore’s latest, an excellent play featuring Adam and Eve after they got booted from Eden, captured my attention. I feel like he’s giving away valuable entertainment and instruction readers should be paying for and yet I appreciate Shore’s free rides nonetheless.
Ric Booth is busy crafting poetry, something I yearn to do but feel so inept at.
And I lurk at various authors’ sites and blogs all over the Internet where everyone seems to be writing well. I come back to view my entries and think “how confusing. If only I had time to stay at home and hone my writing into something making sense, something useful.”
My wife wants me back writing in my own voice.
Don’t think I ever really got a handle on what that was except a lot of readers liked it when I wrote about my children, parenting, marriage, writing how-to (as if I’ve got that down), music and money. Investing research and blog entries at www.fool.com use to be a forte of mine – I even nabbed a useful blogger award – but interest in stocks dropped off as interest rates fell. Don’t know why, just didn’t care anymore and was frustrated that I could pick them but couldn’t put real money in and watch my interest earn interest.
Then also, reading C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity” and Charles Stanley’s devotionals at Crosswalk.com led me to repentance late last year.
I try to “practice the presence of God” and am struggling to grow up as a Christian at the same time I’m struggling to be the parent and husband God wants me to be according to the Bible – one of the few parenting and marriage resources I trust anymore.
Then I come back to writing. Where does God want me to do it? What does God want me to write about?
Does God care if I write fiction about genetic engineering or fact about crying out to him like David did in the psalms? What is most useful? What serves the highest purpose?
And who should I write about? I’m tired of writing about me and would love to write more about my kids, but is that fair to them? With the limited audience I have (I think at best 10 different people read this blog) I’m cool with that.
Writing about music would also keep me interested.
Just the writing is what I’m aiming at, I suppose.
Entertaining people through it, maybe instructing a little on these posts with the ultimate aim of one day earning my keep by writing instead of telling employees how to enroll in health benefits or explaining the difference between a PPO and HMO.
That would be cool.