Sore at John Shore – all he did was write well

“Why don’t you write more like John Shore?” my wife Alana asked.

She had just read his post here http://johnshoreland.com/2008/04/28/if-we-were-descended-from-apes-at-least-i-wouldnt-have-to-work/ . 

“I’ve been reading your blog. Most of the time you write about what someone wrote on their blog. You should write more like the columns you used to write,” she said, hearkening back to days when I was paid to write and had more time to work at it.

“Well, that’s just the last couple of entries. You have to read them all” I replied, springing into defensive mode.

“No, I read a lot of them. I liked your blog about the periodic tables,” she said.

So my writing skill came under fire after driving 20 miles out of my way to buy her premium cookies and cream ice cream and deliver it to her doorstep.

She’d called me right after work ended – 8:32 p.m. EST – and asked me to bring her the ice cream because her throat hurt.

I did, sensing a chance to display unconditional love.

Then she started in on me about the writing.

My ire rose.

I took the bait for a moment and thought of snappy replies like “yeah, well, look who’s writing now! People like Shore actually read my blog! (sometimes, when I beg, I added under my breath).”

Of course, then I remembered even though I write as a hobby and work in a call center, she writes professionally – proposals – and earns almost twice the pay I do.

I helped get the kids into their beds, kissing and hugging them goodnight and then stalked down the townhouse’s stairs and out the front door, leaving my wife watching an episode of “Supernanny.”

I suspect she knows she got to me.

Driving back to where I live, I thought about dropping this whole blog thing.

It started out with me wanting to help people and grow up as a Christian. Then I wanted to practice my writing.

Now I want to call John Shore out into the streets of blog-ray-dough for a blog off because my bride shot and wounded my pride.

Dare I make such a challenge.

Am I still the quick-on-the-draw punslinger that I used to be?

Or would someone get hurt by stray punfire?

I’m a mullin’ this one over, see.

Don’t want to be a coward, but it’s a foolhearty man who goes up against a professional.

My pride would really hurt if I were pun out of town.

What would I gain by a blog off?

Any respect from my wife would fade if I didn’t keep penning bigger and better blog entries.

No one would pay me for it either.

I’m asking God about it, silly as it sounds.

John has a great thing going over at his site with all the love he shows toward idiots like me who fill up his entries with strange comments.

He usually lets me ramble, too, instead of moderating the comments.

I hate it that he’s more like Jesus than I am. Grrrrr.

I’ll keep trying.

He and a lot of others are trying to show a lot of people about God’s love.

I’d like to join in if I can get past this idea of a blog off.

 

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8 Responses

  1. Alana told me “I don’t want you to write more like John at all. I just want to hear your true voice in your writing.”
    This, of course, makes me wonder what my “true voice” is.

  2. My wife is my toughest critic besides me. Well, actually she has me beat too. I think I am pretty cool… in my own mind. She does not hesitate to report disappoint with a post. I think she sees me and knows me best… she seen my best and wants more of that. However, it can take me weeks to create a stirring poem.

    I love your punny comments and even your rambling comments Sam.

  3. I appreciate your appreciation and add I think you’re cool too.
    But do I really ramble? I had an editor call me “non-sequitur man.”
    Is that an appropriate comment?
    Hey, how often do you go to poetry slams?
    I went and wrote a news article about one once.
    What is the source of the picture at the top of your website? Is that seashore nearby?
    I like the mountains myself – the Rockies rule! I saw a grizzly bear once and met a guy attacked by one.
    Oh. Sorry.

  4. “Hey, how often do you go to poetry slams?”

    Usually, at least 2 poetry open mics per month.

    “What is the source of the picture at the top of your website?”

    It is a small island off the coast of Maine. We vacationed in Acadia a couple years ago.

    “Is that seashore nearby?”

    Sorta … near-er than California.

    Was his name Grizzly Adams by any chance?

  5. Ric,
    You know I can’t… bear that last question.
    Sort of seriously, as a journalist one paper I worked at was the Cody Enterprise right outside Yellowstone. I interviewed a hunting guide attacked by a grizzly who shot the bear in the head with a .44-cal pistol. The bear was stunned just long enough for the guide to get away, but not before the bear struck his other arm and broke it.
    From the safety of my car, I later saw a grizzly feeding on a buffalo carcass inside Yellowstone Park. Since it was after the guide interview, I stayed farther away than some with camera at the ready to catch their mauling on film.
    I guess I’m glad no one got mauled. Sort of surprised, actually.

  6. Nothing to say about the writing, but interested you refer to “wife” instead of “nearly ex-wife.”
    What’s up with that?

  7. Longing,
    “Nearly ex-wife” just takes up too much space and messes with the rhythm of a sentence.
    -Sam

  8. Bummer. Well, hope springs eternal.

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