I’ve got to sympathize with Jim over at his blog http://lordibelievehelpmyunbelief.blogspot.com/2008/03/hard-week.html .
I’m luckier than him. My job consists of directly helping people and is a pleasant diversion from life outside work – most of the time.
I qualify with most of the time because I work in an HR call center helping people with their employee benefits. Many times the employees aren’t too happy and can get downright abusive. I enjoy this more than my past award-winning work as a journalist but wish the compensation package approached what I made as a newpaper reporter/editor.
But this week started with my son hospitalized and ends with me and my soon-to-be ex-wife not talking. Last time we talked, she became verbally abusive.
Don’t get me wrong here. I still love my wife. I wish there was a switch inside my heart I could just flick to the off position and then – poof – gone would be all the memories of great times, admiration for her great talents and abilities and my desire to be near her and help her achieve her goals. Sort of like turning off the light. There is still love mixed with a lot of bitterness.
God removes the bitterness when I seek him. He reminds me of what love is and part of that means in my mind wanting what’s best for her – and that includes this divorce.
The only bright spots this week come from finally starting the divorce process, meeting with an attorney and knowing my son is out of the hospital.
In addition, Jim and several others have been praying for my entire fracturing family. His and others’ blogs have helped me keep my sanity. Were it not for the devotionals as well over at Crosswalk.com, John Shore’s occasional humor and Brandt’s hilarity over at Letters from Kamp Krusty I’d completely lose my joy in Jesus.